Forcing the Issues

by Jennifer Hoffman

I know that there is a reason that I was born under the sign of Aries. If there is something that can be done, I'll get it done. If there is a way to make things happen, I will do it, no matter what stands in my way. This makes me highly efficient and effective. My drive and focus help me to get things done but they also lead me into situations where my ability to force issues to my desired conclusion creates lessons in learning when to leave things alone. I have discovered, over time, that there is a time to force the issue and a time to just sit back and see what happens next. Knowing how to choose between the two takes faith and trust and a willingness to listen to our intuition.

When we force the issue we are operating at an ego level and then fear becomes our motivator. If we don't get that relationship, that job, get that thing done, something bad will happen to us or we will fail or be unworthy. Or, something else may not come along so we must hang on to what we have at any cost. And we are often given signs from our guides and angels that we need to just leave certain situations alone or walk away. But when we are in the mindset that we have to accomplish that particular thing, at any cost, we see everything that stands in our way as an obstacle and don't or can't take the time to consider that it may be a blessing in disguise. Often the fact that nothing is working is a sign to us that this is an experience that we can do without.

If we see every challenge as a test of our abilities, we will force the issue to get the outcome that we expect. It has been my experience that when I forced an outcome, I later regretted my actions. And when obstacles appeared and I pushed against them, eventually removing them, I later learned that the obstacles were intended to stop me from continuing along that path, not to test my ability to get things done. Forcing the issue also applies to staying far longer in a situation than I needed to, hoping that it would work out at some point in the future. It is hard to let go when we equate that action with defeat. Perhaps we need to change our definition of defeat and acknowledge that sometimes it means knowing our boundaries when it comes to pain, heartache and sorrow.

How do we know when to not force an issue? For me, I know that the times when I am compelled to rush forward are an indicator that I need to take a big step back, pause and consider what I am doing and why. What do I gain if I force the issue and what do I lose? Do I just want to win or is this really important to me and worth the investment of my time, energy and emotions? And, what are the obstacles trying to tell me? I have learned to trust my intuition when it whispers 'slow down' and know that I am being given an opportunity to choose a less painful and difficult path. Learning our own boundaries is another step on our journey in spiritual consciousness and choosing love over pain, happiness over sadness and defeat over success at any cost is part of that process. If you feel that you are forcing the issue in a situation, listen to your intuition if it tells you to slow down, consider what you are doing and why. Then take the path that will bring you the most joy, instead of forcing the issue.

Copyright(c) 2004-5 by Jennifer Hoffman. All Rights Reserved.

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